Forgiveness

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

We hear and say the words so often, but what do they really mean? Is it always possible to move on from being hurt? Is apologizing always required? Is forgiveness always necessary? We were raised to believe that yes, it is; but it’s not always possible to say the words and mean them.

When you hurt someone, whether intentionally or not, you need to apologize if you want to maintain the relationship with them. Likewise, if someone hurts you and they apologize, it’s important to forgive them. This way, the friendship can be repaired. But what if it can’t? What if the damage has gone too deep? Should you even try?

Yes, I think you should. Give it some time; that might help. Set up boundaries between you and the other person; go at the friendship a little differently this time. Try to move on, and know that if you can’t, it’s okay.

What if someone won’t apologize to you? Do you need to forgive them? What if you stand true to your actions, and the other person continues to take offense to it? Should you apologize, even if it’s a lie? No. The relationship might be severed, but sometimes there comes a point where you have to move on.

I think you shouldn’t treat them any differently than you would another person. Even if you aren’t friends any more, even if you don’t talk much, don’t avoid them. Don’t hold it against them. Yeah, it hurt, and maybe you can’t move on. And maybe, sometimes, that’s okay.